Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Glass Mystery: Chapter 14 - Lake Tahoe





Chapter 14


I sat in the same overstuffed chair, placed a new pile of books at my feet, next to the bag of movies I’d just rented next door, and George brought another pot of tea.
“So you’ve decided to take my job offer?”
“No, just adding to your bottom line,” I replied, nodding toward the books.
He didn’t look at the books, but continued to regard me with a knowing interest. “How do you like living alone?”

I looked at him and then stared at the counter across the room. From my experience, there were always people you met who would know the answers to the questions they asked before you answered. So, why did they bother to ask? To test your veracity, to test your response reaction, were you the type who made a quick snap or a measured reply?
“Sheryl says you’ve rented about a hundred movies in the past month, she thinks it’s some kind of record.”

I continued to stare into the middle-distance, not surprised that the two shopkeepers compared notes on frequent shoppers. In a town of this size, where there was only one bookstore and one movie rental store, it wasn’t difficult to keep track of customers. I didn’t want to make too much of it.

“Your tastes are eclectic. Actually Sheryl thinks you’re some kind of intellectual since you rent a lot of foreign films. She says you’re probably from New York.”
I smirked, cast an arched look at George as I leaned over to refill my cup.
“I figure you’ve got two choices,” he said. “You can either go to work for her and get a discount on those rentals, or come work for me and get a discount on the books. Either way, I think you need to get away from whatever you’re trying to hide from at home.”
Now I looked at him. I started to deny his assertion, but my mouth closed and I simply nodded.
“Did you tell her what kind of books I buy?”

George struggled up from his chair and walked over to the counter. “Nope. None of her business. Reading is a private concern. The books my customers choose tells me a lot about what they’re thinking. I treat them with the same privacy I’d expect from a doctor, or a priest, or a psychiatrist.”

I looked down at the books I’d chosen. “I think you’re making too much of it.”
“Nope. I’m not. But that’s my opinion…which means that nobody has to believe it except me.”
I looked out the front window, over the tops of the stores, at a glimpse of sky. It was painfully blue, white and streaked with yellow. So different. “When does it start snowing around here?”
George followed my gaze, “Probably sooner than the place you’ve been thinking about.”
I nodded and gripped the mug a little tighter. Yes, that was true. I’d checked the weather there and they’d already had their first snowfall. I thought of how different the sky looked there, so grey, closed in even when the clouds broke. But still I missed it, wondered what they were doing now. “How many hours a week would you want me to work?”


Now I turned on the radio that sat on a shelf behind the counter. Notes from the local classical radio station drifted softly through the room, creating an atmosphere that encouraged lingering. I’d started off working two days a week, four hours on each day. I spaced out the days so that in between I could continue my rituals at home. I did however stop renting as many movies from Sheryl and occasionally took up the offers for dinner and drinks with the neighbors. I was determined to put a healthy face on my existence in this town, the better to remain incongruous.
Over the past three months, I gradually increased my hours at the shop until it became another of my daily rituals. Most of the time, George arrived before me. We’d talk, but he never again referred to where I’d been before coming to Lake Tahoe. Instead, we talked about books, about local gossip.

This morning, I walked to the back of the shop and found the bag of Christmas decorations I’d bought at the Target store down in Reno. George had told me they weren’t necessary when he first saw the bag. I assured him that I wouldn’t bill the store for my purchases, and said that it was a gesture of nostalgia on my part rather than part of a new marketing strategy.
I spent the rest of the day decorating, first hanging golden beaded garlands and tiny white fairy lights around the window. I draped swaths of red velvet over the milk crates I’d ‘borrowed’ from the local grocery store, to create a platform to display the books. Then I went to the back and pulled the Wizard of Oz volume that had been left for me, and placed it on the top of the platform. Around it, I placed copies of A Christmas Carol, Little Women, Jane Eyre, Treasure Island, Tom Sawyer, and a volume of Hans Christian Andersen’s Fairytales. Oh how these classics made me smile as I carefully arranged them in the window. The display in fact took longer than it should have as I stopped frequently to gently page through the volumes, gazing at the carefully etched ink sketches, to read a favorite passage.

In the other window, I placed a copy of Babar’s Adventures, Tin Tin, and The Little Prince, and a collection of Hemingway’s short stories next to a weathered old globe. Would these books inspire some lucky young child to leave the familiar behind and venture into the wider world? I hoped so. Behind these three, I’d set up another platform. On it I continued the theme of travel with Around the World in Eighty Days, Voyage to the Center of the Earth, and a book of paintings by Winslow Homer, next to leather bound edition of Moby Dick.

I stepped outside and looked at both of the windows. I wasn’t entirely happy with the results. They were good but not great. My goal was to sell the books by reminding the older shopper of the joys they’d experienced reading these books as a child. That was obvious. But I wanted to send another message, less obvious.

The Wizard of Oz had been placed in the window as a challenge to the intruder. But I needed more. I put my hands on my hips and stared at the windows again. Should I put the journal in the window?

“You should have Turgenev next to the Melville.”
I jumped at the sound of the Russian accent behind me. I turned and looked into the eyes of Stepan.


photo credit: http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.kncbooks.com/paypal_pro/product_imgs/BC00270000199.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.kncbooks.com/&h=378&w=300&sz=36&hl=en&start=35&um=1&tbnid=TKO7j2z537tFbM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=97&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchristmas%2Bbookstore%26start%3D21%26ndsp%3D21%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7GGLR%26sa%3DN

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Nerd Girl Gets Memed!


Memes, memes, memes.

For months I've stood on the sidelines watching the popular girls get tapped for memes, but never me. So sad!




But today was MY LUCKY DAY!


JCK, the most excellent author of Motherscribe tagged me today for my first ever meme!!!


Woohoooooooo!


So, that's the good news....







The bad news is that I have to write one of those pesky six word memoirs.



Six words?



Memoir?


Just this past weekend my brother accused me of speaking less than anyone he knows. My own mother accuses me of answering questions with a shake or nod of my head in lieu of real conversation. One of my dearest friends has suggested that I might enjoy working in the guard station of a seldom visited condo complex.

Why couldn't I get the fun one...that one where you pick up a book and turn to page 123, paragraph 5, copy the first six words. This would have been perfect for me: I couldhave done it from bed!


Six words?



Silence might be the new black.



Girl desperately searches for new mountain home.



Passionate philosopher pens purple prose pastiche



Loves writing more now than ever.



World traveling, beach combing, picture taker.



Two yorkies, adorable ankle-biting piddlers.



God loving, imperfect sinner, grace saved.



Sleep loving insomniac desiring day in bed.



Political conservative intrigued by chaos theory.



Purposeful life key to my happiness.



Lusting after a buddah bellied hunky guy.



Chardonnay, Absolute Tonic, Milk: All organic?






Oh and by the way, I'm going to send this little meme your way:

ThursdayDrive

Scriptoids

Melissa the Mouth

Slow Panic

Mad Marriage

Desert Candy


photo credit: httphttp://www.neoseeker.com/series/dragon_ball/fanart/view_images/643-More_DBZ_GirlZ_by_Stealth_Nerd_342730_ZNXE9_thumb.html

Sniper Fire? CBS Explores Hillary's Claims on Trip to Bosnia

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Glass Mystery: Chapter 13 - Moscow

Chapter 13



Sometimes, it’s ridiculously easy to spot the CIA employees. They’re always in something innocuous like ‘communications’. When you ask them what they actually do there, they make some dumb statement like ‘I handle communications.’ Sure. Good cover.


Much better to put them in my position, working with the public, give them a really inane ‘funding the arts’ job and let them talk about it all day long to whoever will listen (generally the only takers are the locals looking for funding for their suspect projects). Announce to anyone else that you work in the ‘arts’ and they will leave you lonely. You could hide a whole squadron of CIA in my section.


In September, I was at an after work drinks party sponsored by the American Chamber of Commerce. I sat down at a table with a young American couple and began the usual conversation of “where are you from, how did you get here.”


They had the fresh-scrubbed, smiling faces of missionaries fresh from Minnesota. They said that they’d spent the last four years in the Sudan, working for the Peace Corps. They were now in the Russia on some agricultural relief program. I smelled a phony. Not two, just one. I don’t know why I didn’t trust the veracity of their answer, it was quite likely that they were working for one of the multitude of NGO’s that received money from our government and distributed it through the trickle down method via their various programs of goodwill. But still, something in their scripted responses to my casual questions didn’t feel right.


I abhor liars. So I invited the wife to a weekly Bible study I attended. No, I wasn’t trying to convert, it was more a vetting, a chance to watch her reaction. After all, how many times had she been lead to the Lord by a woman holding a vodka tonic? I figured it would be a nice change from the monthly ‘Stitch and Bitch’ sessions that were expected of the wives. She looked at her husband and he gave me a ‘sure’ that I knew would result in my never seeing her again. I didn’t attribute this to her lack of interest in the Bible.


On the other hand, when I’m drinking, I tend to think just about any clean cut man is either a member of the CIA or helplessly attracted to me. A close second to my Putin fantasy actually involves an extensive interview with one of these CIA types, during which I espouse my theories on the inherent failure of the Soviet Union, my secret for cooking goose, the zen of grocery shopping, my theory that quantum physics will eventually provide the proof that God exists, and why the Second Amendment is integral to America’s status as a truly free country. The entertainment value of this fantasy, alone, may be hindering an oft considered plan to restrain my alcoholic intake.


I also enjoy dancing at these parties, and so after talking with the CIA non-operative, I joined a corn-fed expat from Nebraska who was in Moscow to sell Caterpillar tractors to the government.



Today we went to Katerina’s funeral. I don’t know how they managed to dig through the nearly frozen earth. We circled a gaping hole surrounded by mounds of rich ochre soil that reminded one that this former crop field had recently been a source of nourishment.


The ubiquitous granite marker lay on its back at the head of the grave. Katerina’s smiling face, now frozen in stone, stared at the sky as it had the night she died.


The crowd was Russian. Her mother wept silently, her father’s face unmoving with a sorrow that had aged him and would mercifully claim his life soon. I guessed that it would happen as he crossed a street looking at the pavement rather than the traffic. They would call it an accident, but we would know better. And he would be buried here, next to his beloved daughter. His wife’s spot would remain empty for much longer, only because, I believed, she was the stronger of the two.


There were few of us from the Embassy, mainly from her section. I watched an Embassy SUV pull up and the American Ambassador and his wife get out. Tom followed a few steps behind.
I understood it was the appearance of protocol that had brought them. Tom would have had to create a pretext not to be here. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood on the periphery of the crowd. His eyes were locked on the portrait of Katerina.



What I had found out through conversations with Katerina’s friends, was that the Russian police were treating her death as an unfortunate accident, she had simply been in the park alone at night, drinking with friends, and had somehow been left behind, had fallen asleep on a bench and frozen to death. This was not an uncommon occurrence. Somehow, they had forgotten to mention the gapping wound that nearly separated her head from the rest of her body.


By the time they found her body her purse had been taken. Identifying her had been a fluke, one of the police officers knew a guard at the Embassy and the two had put the two together. I found it incredible that they would conclude such a young girl with such a bright future, not known for excessive drinking, would be quickly labeled with the cause of death usually saved for old men.


What was my part in this? What of my recurring dream? What had I really seen that night as I walked home from church? There was only one other person who could answer that question and I believe he knew more about the real cause of Katerina’s death than anyone else.


I was afraid of the consequences. I was afraid of what events would unfold after those few simple words of accusation were spoken. I was beginning to hate myself for my cowardice. There wasn’t enough vodka in my apartment to drive away the knowledge that I stood in the way of Katerina’s justice.


Standing at her grave I made a decision. Now I am afraid to carry it out.










Photo Credits: http://www.antiochian.org/assets/asset.php?type=image&id=4985

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Baby!


Happy Birthday, Baby!

One year ago today, my brother John said, "Why don't you start a blog?"

He said this in response to my lament that I had not realized my dream of becoming a published author. In fact, I had become so discouraged that I had stopped writing for over four years. Hence, my brother's suggestion. Just start blogging and see where it leads.

I did. Thanks to Google and Blogger, this blog was up and running in a matter of minutes. Thanks to my friends and a new digital camera, its appearance and content has evolved over time.




The biggest impact is of course to my writing. Posting one chapter at a time, I have completed the revisions of one of the three novels that have sat in mothballs for the past four years, and am at work on the next one (new chapter from The Glass Mystery coming tomorrow.)

It is incredibly gratifying to be writing again. I now greet revisions with enthusiasm and can't wait to see how this fresh perspective will shape the new book. I know, that sounds incredibly 'gee whiz', but it's true. And this blog provides a place to post each chapter, to mark my progress, and to communicate with other writers.


Today I want to send a big bouquet of hugs and thanks to all the wonderful bloggers I have met in the past year. You are a wonderful source of inspiration, big laughs, and fine writing. Visiting your blogs is like going next door to your friendly neighbor to share a cup of coffee and terrific conversation.



And just in case you're wondering about that cake on the table, I baked it last night. It's a coconut cake accented with fresh lime juice. Today just happens to be my birthday too!

Monday, March 17, 2008

My Cloud(s) of Witnesses


Tonight I was going to write a photo essay of my current struggle with weight. I was going to include four pictures that showed how I have gained twenty-five pounds since I have returned from living overseas two years ago. In fact, the impetus for this post has to do with my fear of an upcoming weekend meeting with friends from my overseas days. I dread their "what the heck happened to you, Miss Pumpkinhead!"

So, after going through the pictures I'd chosen to display, I decided: No. That's not the way I want this to go. If I am not happy with the reflection I see when I am alone, why exacerbate it by posting it? All of us at one time or another have faced a weighty issue, whether one of body or of mind. Currently, this is mine. I want to discuss it with you, without the distraction of my cringe-worthy pictures, because we have all fought the valiant fight with something that seems not willing to budge under the usual ministrations.



It is convenient to look for sources of the weight gain. In the past year I have quit smoking, completed my MBA, helped my mother through health issues, struggled with the desire to find a new hometown and career, while managing my current ones.

I hate excuses. My weight is an issue simply because my caloric intake has exceeded my caloric output. That is what I tell myself when the scale fails to move. My whiny self will argues that women naturally find it more difficult to take weight off with age. I do not want to apply this truism, no matter how convenient, to myself because the only thing worse than weight, is age. And not because of the superficial change in appearance, but because of the irreversible march of time, the realization that we are finite.

When I look in the mirror I do not see myself as I am in my mind's eye.

Yet, I did not wake up one day and decide that avoiding my reflection in the mirror was perversely pleasurable. I didn't decide that it would be fun to no longer fit into my favorite jeans. Or, to not get a second look when I walked in a room.


To eat is to satisfy one of the most elemental desires. It may be argued that it satisfies others as well.

Eating well is tactile. It engages the senses, the crack of a fresh bread crust as it is pinched and then plunged into a shallow pool of aromatic olive oil, the silky smoothness of a triple cream cheese, the smell of fresh cut grass as a very good Italian Barolo rolls across your tongue.

I would like to defend my weight gain as the result of such voracious pleasure. To pinch my belly and sigh with a memory of an evening indulging a variety of the Seven Deadly Sins.

It is as likely, that that pinch may be from the scoop of Starbuck's Java Chip I had while mindlessly watching yet another political rant-fest. Although, what I was really doing was worrying about this or that goal that I'd set for myself, mulling the possibilities of its achievement.

While there may be a metabolic answer to our weight issues as we age, I firmly believe it is also the result of an emotional confrontation with our own mortality. When our realities do not meet up with our expectations we search for comfort in one form or another...perhaps that's why there is a need for seven sins rather than just one....



I went for a walk after dinner. The weather tonight in South Florida is beautiful. I'm convinced we have cornered the market on breathtaking sunsets.

What is it we say at Mass? Those words of Christ that we give each other in greeting: "Peace be with you, my peace I give you." Sometimes, we need to offer that greeting to ourselves.


Friday, March 14, 2008

The Joy of Journaling



This is my red leather journal.

I love this journal in an affectionate, nearly anthropomorphic sense. I bought it a year ago in Hawaii. It is a huge, bloated, weighty thing. At the time of its purchase, I wondered if I'd ever be able to fill its pages...ever...years and years worth of ever. One year and three months later it's nearly filled, its cover distended as it strains to cover the additions to its pages, and now nearly double its original girth. What happened?

Many Trips: Hawaii, Alaska, Colorado, Nevada, South America.

Many Musings: seeing an old friend, completing a degree, searching for a new home.

Morning Pages: Julia Cameron came up with this idea in her classic book: The Artist's Way. Morning Pages are three pages done first thing in the morning. They consist of free writing, quickly getting your thoughts down on paper in an effort to clear your mind and allow yourself the space and energy to start the day with a fresh perspective. The key to success is in writing the pages as quickly as possible without thought to correct spelling, proper sentence structure, or editing of one's thoughts. (much like this blog. ha!) They do work wonders.



The red journal is the keeper of my travel memories.

That postcard pictured above....one of many that I actually mail to myself from the road as I travel, with a snippet of the trip, or a message. They're fun to receive once I return home, an authentic keepsake, and a reminder of my state of mind.

I have taped the Playbill, as well as the ticket stubs, from The Phantom of the Opera which I saw in Las Vegas.

I have taped pictures of my idealized house, along with articles about mountain communities that might become a future hometown.

There is an article about a trip to India that I hope to make someday.

A vision map has been created over a series of pages with images and words representing the life I want to create.


It is the inspiration behind my site's design.

There is something very intimate in the view of handwriting on a page. It conveys a sense of raw emotion, an unguarded heart, a mind expressing its real thoughts without benefit of a delete key.

What is the difference between the self we convey in a journal versus a blog? Obviously, a blog is for public consumption, a journal for our eyes only. On a blog we can create a character an archtype of our real selves. Beyond that, I wonder. Do we edit ourselves more in our blogs? Is it just the preverbial tip of the iceberg, whereas the journal is all the stuff beneath the water's edge?

Often, as I make my way through another journal entry, I wonder whether I am holding back.

Am I telling the truth, telling everything? Do I hold back because I do not want to re-read those painful or embarassing thoughts someday, much less give them real form on the page. If I am honest, yes, I do. Apart from future embarassment, what is the cost of this self-editing? Is it self-preservation?


It is a bedside companion.

I have kept journals since the age of eleven. They come in all shapes and sizes. There are large black cloth sketch books recounting my days in New York, when I wanted to believe I had an artistic bent and filled the pages with primitive oil based pastel drawings and brooding hand typed poems copied from the pages of ee cummings.

There are 8X11 canvas covered journals in bold jewel tones of purple, gold, and blue. Their pages are filled with large looping lines of handwriting.

There are the collection of seven journals puchased in Sienna, Italy, with their covers of marbelized paper in every hue. I have one left, I am trying to decide if it will be the journal I pick up once the red leather journal is filled. A part from its obvious beauty, the last journal from Italy also has the advantage of slipping into a purse and carried everywhere...something the red leather journal cannot.



Today only: I have re-named this blog in honor of my red leather journal. I can't decide if it sounds better than its predecessor: A Golden Journal, or whether that name conveys a more universal appreciation for the journal itself. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

(have I ever mentioned that I re-arrange the furniture a lot as well?!)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Find My Mountain Home: Life Lessons and Living Room Paint

Last month I dedicated a post to my quest to find the perfect color of paint for my living room walls. I provided the picture above to illustrate the lengths to which I went in my search. There were in the end, nineteen different paint colors tried before I finally made a decision.

Even then, I second guessed myself. It happened this way: the painter came on a Friday afternoon. He managed to complete one hallway before leaving for the weekend. When I looked at the walls I wanted to cry. The soothing yellow walls I'd imagined instead had the shocking brilliance of a lemon cream pie. What had I done!?

Sunday found me at Loew's looking at paint chips. I spent the good part of an hour collecting all those pretty little cards that show model rooms painted in varying shades of yellow, living rooms, kitchens, dining rooms, all in yellow.

I consulted with the Loew's painter-mixer guy, cried on his shoulder with my tale of woe about the deceptive 'cozy cottage' paint chip that had mysteriously morphed into 'lemon drops on acid.' The kind man guided me over to the light box which demonstrated how paint appears different under different light conditions. Enchanted, I began manically trying out the numerous new yellow paint chips that I'd collected over the past hour, marvelling at how the intensity of the color changed as I slid it between the little boxes of light. Bright, not bright. Bright, not bright.

And then it occurred to me, 'cozy cottage' was going to be okay.



And it was.

A couple thoughts come to mind. First, when the living room was originally painted blue, I hated it. But because I had just had it painted, I tried to convince myself to like it over the course of the month.

That didn't work. I needed to accept that I had chosen the wrong color and the best solution was to fix the mistake. It took me nearly twenty tries to get it right, but in the end, even with some last minute second guessing, I found something that worked.

And I'm glad I persisted, because I love 'cozy cottage'. It playfully contrasts with the green accents on the Chinese garden bench, or the green, gold, and black frames throughout the room, it warms the wood floors, and makes me smile every time I enter the room.

Where's the Life Lesson?

Last month as I was paralyzed with a fear of choosing the wrong color, I wrote about how this situation reminded me of my current search for a perfect mountain home.

I am still searching. I have driven through Colorado and Wyoming. I have done Internet searches through Montana and Oregon. Today, I've started a new one in Utah.

I am looking for a little house in the mountains, a place with lots of snow and sun. A small town with access to a larger one. A place that makes me say, 'Aha!', the way Lake Tahoe did when I spent a year living there.....and it needs to be affordable for a single home owner, which Tahoe is not. The painful bit is that I have been searching for over a year and feel no closer now than I was then. There have been days when I just cry because this is so important to me. I use this example, I have a friend in Conroe, Texas. They have beautiful homes there for very reasonable prices: a gorgeous home for $250 to $350,000. Is there a mountain town with a home in that price range?

So my life lesson is: I must keep looking for my new place to call home. Persisting through indecision can lead to wonderful results.

If you know a mountain town I should check out, please leave your suggestion in the comments section, or send me an email.




Chloe will thank you, she can't endure another round of painting.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Glass Mystery - Chapter 12 - Lake Tahoe


Chapter 12




It was a slow day at the bookstore. Most days were nearly devoid of more than a handful of visitors. This was in part the plight of being an independent bookseller; it also reflected George’s lack of interest in promoting the store or creating an atmosphere that anyone other than his familiar circle of bibliophiles would care to visit more than once. Thea had made it her mission to try to change that.

George was a sweetheart; his winning personality should be the perfect draw for repeat sales, and his extensive book list for word of mouth sales. Yet, his warmth seemed arbitrary, doled out to a chosen few, based on some mysterious criteria known only by him. Thea was tempted to chalk it up to the vagaries of old age. No, that assumption underestimated George’s perceptiveness, which had not been dimmed by age, and with which he made decisions to admit or dismiss customers.

She’d worked for George for less than three months. They were fast approaching the Christmas holidays, so Thea decided to spend the day decorating the front windows. In an effort to drum up business, she pulled a number of first edition children’s classics they had in stock and made them the centerpiece in one the windows.

At some point early in her tenure at the store, Thea realized that George didn’t really care whether the store thrived or not. He simply loved to be surrounded by books and those who loved books as well. George made his money elsewhere and the bookstore was, she suspected, simply a means to keep his body and soul active and to provide a reason to leave the house where he lived alone. The bookstore served all these purposes well.

George developed a loyal customer base, who when not coming in to buy something specific, would stop by for a chat, a cup of tea, and a rest in one of the two old brown leather club chairs that sat kitty-corner in the front of the store. That was how she had gotten her job.

Thea found the store during her first week in town, an escape from the pile of unpacked boxes at home. George motioned her in with a cheery wave as she hesitated outside the store, looking but not looking at a display in the window. She came in head down, uncertain smile, and wandered the aisles. She culled an armful of books, carried them to the front of the store and placed them at her feet next to one of the overstuffed chairs that sat beneath the bay windows fronting the sidewalk.

George came around the counter and looked at the pile and then headed to the back of the store. He returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with a ceramic tea service and a couple of tea-stained mugs. He sat the service on the low table in front of the chairs and then walked around and sat in the chair next to Thea.

Wordlessly he poured the tea, held up one of the mugs and asked, “Are you a cream person or a lemon?”
Thea smiled and said, “Cream, please, and two sugars.”
He nodded and dropped two sugars into the cup. “You look like a cream person,” he said as he poured. “Lemons tend to be requested by sour looking people.”
She laughed at his simplistic analysis and thanked him for the tea as she took it from his tremulous hand.
“I see you found a couple of our Nancy Drew mysteries,” he said nodding toward the pile of books. “Do you have a daughter you’re introducing them to?”
Thea shook her head, “No, actually they’re for me.”
“You’ve never read Nancy Drew?”
“Of course I read them as a little girl,” she replied, shaking her head. “I have a collection of children’s books.”
“And the Henry James?” he said, turning his head to read the spine of one of the books.
“I admire his prose, and it’s one I haven’t read yet.”
“You have good taste,” George said, beaming.
“So do you,” Thea said as she looked into his gentle wrinkle lined eyes.
“You’re new in town. Are you just visiting or have you moved here?”
“I just bought a house up the mountain.”
“Are you working in town or down in Reno?” he asked.
“Neither,” Thea replied, looking around the store for a means to change the subject. “I moved here because I liked the location.”
“Are you looking for work?”
“I haven’t thought about it, actually,” she shrugged. “I mean, I’ll have to get a job eventually, but…”
George looked at her and nodded. “But right now you’re just getting your bearings. You look tired.”
“Burned out,” she agreed.
“Well, if you need a job, I’m looking for part-time help. It won’t pay enough to support you, but it’d pay for groceries, unless you have a large family to feed.”
“Thanks, I’ll think about it.” Thea gathered her books, stood and walked over to the register. “I take these.”

It was another three weeks before she returned to George’s store. Thea spent those three weeks alone, unpacking and then just sitting in her new house, reading, writing, watching movies she picked up by the dozen at the rental store.

She wrote in the morning, her journal propped on her knee as she sipped coffee and stared at the line of mountains across the lake. Afternoons were spent watching movies, reading, or napping, all three generally done on the couch in the living room. At five, she got up long enough to retrieve her first glass of wine.

She created a self-imposed exile. She saw her neighbors only as she passed them on her way to the movie store or the grocery. They’d wave, Thea would stop the car and roll down the window, they’d invite her for dinner or drinks and she’d decline with a vague excuse and tell them she’d get back to them later.

She filled her days with mind numbing diversions, restless naps, and wine. Increasingly, more and more wine. It started as an appreciation of the easy access to superb boutique wines from California. Later, it became a means of escape as her thoughts ventured to dark territories.

When she woke in the morning, Thea turned the TV to CNN and then rolled over to doze for another hour. Later, on her way downstairs, she would turn the living room set to CNN enroute to the kitchen. Then she would take her coffee outside and sit at the glass topped table and stare at the sky and imagine that this sky covered Kiev as well. Thea calculated the time difference and made a guess about the weather. But she did not allow her mind to go further than that. When more disturbing thoughts trickled through, she got up, went back into the house, and watched the news.

Three weeks after her first meeting with George, she went back to his shop, ostensibly to buy more books.




Monday, March 3, 2008

The Glass Mystery Chapter 11 - Moscow


Chapter 11




Every autumn, Marines around the world celebrate the birthday of their great and honorable organization. The Marines stationed at the Embassy host a formal dinner and dance. It is one of the premiere events of the social season, representatives from embassies attend, as well as local and foreign businessmen.

The Marines are in full dress uniform. Civilians wear black tie for the men, and women outdo one another in full length finery. It is a night of pageantry, pomp and ceremony that makes one proud to be an American and honored to be protected by our Marines.

I hadn’t planned on going. In fact, I gave away my one formal dress to the wife of the FBI representative. But after listening to one person after another tell me that I would be missing the best night of the year, hours before the event was scheduled to begin, I changed my mind and decided to attend.

Hurrying home from the office, I poured myself a drink and approached my closet with trepidation. Formal wear was in short supply; I didn’t have a selection of sequined gowns, cocktail dresses, or even the generic long black skirt with shiny blouse. I checked my watch, gulped my drink, and quickly shuffled through the motley selection hanging in crowded randomness. I settled on a black velvet turtleneck, a paisley silk wrap, and loose gold silk pants.

I entered the ball fashionably late, everyone was seated, but the Marine’s had not yet conducted the ceremonial cake cutting. Before finding my table, I hurried to the bar to pick up a drink. Recognizing that my late arrival put me at least two behind some of my cohorts, I ordered a double vodka gimlet.

Drink in hand, I wove my way through the densely packed tables in search of my assigned seat. They dimmed the lights in an effort to quiet the crowd and to signal the start of the ceremonies, which made my hunt more difficult. I stopped frequently and glanced at my ticket and then at the card perched among the floral centerpiece on each table. This searching parade and frequent sips from my glass brought quizzical glances from some quarters.

The wife of the Passports Chief looked me up and down. Taking another quick sip of my drink, I stole her thunder.

“Yes, I’m wearing my pajamas,” I said, “to be more precise, the bottoms of my pajamas.”
The husbands looked at their wives. The wives looked at me. I smiled and took another sip of my drink and headed off again.

I’ve always wanted to wear my pajamas in public.


After dinner, the twenty-something crowd went downstairs to the disco that had been set up in the basement. Fraternization among the young single marines and the locals had been a concern since investigations into a spy scandal in the late eighties. But policing those far from home was as difficult as it was universal: what else could be expected where handsome young men in uniform were found in the vicinity of beautiful young women with exotic accents. I wandered to the room next to the dining hall.

It was a smoking lounge; low slung couches and an overstuffed leather ottoman surrounded a wood burning fireplace. I found the bar in the corner and ordered another double vodka gimlet. I surveyed the room and stopped when my gaze found him.

He held court by the fire. His wife sat on his right. Katerina, on his other side. He smoked a cigar and seemed very satisfied.
Handsome, mid-fifties, hair prematurely grey, his features, rugged, masculine, suited his position in the Embassy.
His wife had not aged as well. Her face seemed to have absorbed the consequences of her husband’s indiscretions.

I took a seat on the couch facing them and studied the fire while his wife studied me with a territorial frown. Ignoring her non-verbal signals, I listened to Katerina’s meager attempts to engage the wife in conversation, to diffuse the discomfort to which they both had been subjected. He sat there smugly conscious of their agitation, enjoying their inability to do a thing to change the circumstances without creating an open acknowledgment of their positions. I opened my bag and shook a cigarette loose from its pack.

“Allow me,” he said leaning forward with his lighter. It was one of the Zippo lighters you don’t see much anymore, except on men who’ve made smoking an integral part of their image. I’d always loved the smell of butane as the flame was ignited.

Drawing near the flame, I noticed the bronze emblem of the U.S. Marines. My hand lightly wrapped around his as I brought the flame into my cigarette and then looked into his eyes. They were an arctic blue. Little spidery wrinkles surrounded them when he smiled, warming a hard-edged demand into a lulling seduction. Harmless, the wrinkles reassured. Don’t deny me, the eyes said.

“Thanks.” I exhaled a thin stream of smoke toward the fireplace. His eyes followed the pucker of my lips and he smiled as he snapped back the top of the lighter.
“Nice outfit. Your first tour overseas?”
I crossed my legs, leaned back into to the sofa, and tilted my head and regarded him without answering. It was part of his job to know that information. He knew that I knew that. That he had brought it up was only for his wife’s sake. We both understood that as well. He was simply providing cover.
“You should take advantage of those of us who’ve learned the tricks of living overseas,” he said. “We’ll make your stay more interesting.”
His wife coughed and glared at her husband and turned a syrupy smile toward me. “Are you here with your husband?”
I shook my head. “Alone.”
The corners of her mouth turned down for a second, “You left him Stateside?”
I shook my head again. “No husband. No boyfriend. No girlfriend. But I am looking.”

Her eyebrow arched at my insolence and then she reached into her purse and pulled out a cigarette. She paused for a moment and then found her own lighter.